Last night’s Game Awards had some really cool surprises. We have a new Alan Wake announcement, we were scared by the crack by Slitterhead, and a lovable pot buddy (like a real pot buddy, not a cannabis buddy) dropped a bit Elden Ring lore about us. But there was a surprise that left my colleagues and me in The edge confused, curious and out of breath for more: what game has crocodile girlfriends and how can we get our hands on it?
Ming-Na Wen, China’s savior and Boba Fett’s right-hand man, appeared during the Game Awards to present the award for Best Narrative (which, by the way, went to the well-deserved Marvel Guardians of the Galaxy). During her speech, she mentioned that as the mother of a game-obsessed boy, she enjoys when games are more than just “blowing up grenade factories and yelling obscenities at her crocodile girlfriends.”
At her mention of “crocodile girlfriends,” they all paused, took a moment to assess whether that was really what she said, and then racked their brains to find out what the hell she was talking about. After turning on the subtitles and playing the video, Wen actually said “crocodile girlfriends,” so it wasn’t a misunderstanding.
I asked my colleagues what game he might be talking about, but nothing came to mind. Dieter Bohn found a “Alligator Bride” in the form of a song by the blues-rock band Howlin ‘Rain, but I don’t think these people were the Saurian husbands Wen was referring to.
On Twitter, people were just as excited about the idea of crocodile brides as we were.
WHAT GAME ALLOWS ME TO ACCESS THE CAYMAN BRIDES AND WHY DOESN’T I PLAY IT?
– Mike Sholars ‘ALL CAPS’ (@Sholarsenic) December 10, 2021
I wish games had more grenade factories and crocodile brides
– Nathan Grayson (@ Vahn16) December 10, 2021
sorry i don’t care about narratives i wanna play the crocodile bride game
– Adi Robertson (@thedextriarchy) December 10, 2021
I want the video game about blowing up grenade factories and yelling obscenities at crocodile brides. Give me this game. #TheGameAwards
– Ryan Brown ❄️ (@Toadsanime) December 10, 2021
Still, with no information on this elusive game, I decided to go to the source.
I asked Ms. Wen herself.
@MingNa Hello! My name is Ash and I am a video game reporter. @edge
As my colleagues and I watched his performance during the game awards, we were very curious when he mentioned his son yelling obscenities at his crocodile girlfriends. What game was that? We want to play too!
– Ash Parrish (@adashtra) December 10, 2021
I even decided to tap as an expert on the subject. @GatorsDaily to see what they might know.
I have not yet received a response from either of them. But the more I think about it, the more I become convinced that this “crocodile brides” game is not some dark standalone title where you are presented with a list of sensitive, sexy, and anthropomorphized reptiles to date, courtship, and eventually marrying (though that it is a game I would play) but something much more mundane.
It is Skyrim.
You know, that Bethesda RPG that was released 100 years ago and also this year.
Or else Skyrim specifically, one of the other Ancient scrolls games. For the uninitiated, the Ancient scrolls The universe is populated by humans, felines, and a race of upright reptiles called Argonians. Ancient scrolls Games allow you to marry these upright Argonian humans, cats, and reptiles. As the mystery of the crocodile brides continues, my best guess is that Wen’s son is an avid Skyrim Gamer and lover of a lustful Argonian maid.
If this is true, I hope that we as a community will adopt the practice of calling Skyrim The “Crocodile Bride” game.